Leeds
Perfect match
Following your team to Leeds to watch the football and want to know where the best places are to go? No fear, Itchy’s here. Not only have we got a list of places you can go for pre and post-match drinks, but we’re even going to tell you where to go celebrate/commiserate post-football, as well as a good day-after chill-out destination. God we’re good to you. Leeds football scene, here you come...
With things not exactly going great for them, Leeds United; football's Mighty Whites, are seemingly heading the same way as the once famous loaf of bread – rapidly vanishing into obscurity. As you approach Leeds City Centre along the M621, you pass Elland Road, which is rather aptly now sponsored by Total Waste Solutions. As a commentary on the state of the club, it could hardly be bettered.
The ground looks wonky; one large main stand dwarfs the other three sides of the ground, as though it was a child's Lego kit and the rest of the bricks are lost somewhere under the sofa. Outside a statue of Billy Bremner stands as testimony to what the club once were.
Nowadays, it's not so much living the dream, as living the nightmare reality of life in the lower divisions for Leeds United, who are still clinging to some last remnants of glamour. Where they were once playing Manchester United and Chelsea, they are now facing Barnsley and Stoke City.
And so, a whole new demographic of the nation's football supporters have now been handed the open net opportunity to come and visit the great city of Leeds. People on trips up to Leeds from mad places such as Colchester or Southend, Plymouth or Southampton might want to spend a bit of time seeing that the north of England is not just cobbled streets, flat caps and whippets, and see that Leeds is actually a Premier League city.
They might well find that Leeds is indeed a friendly, welcoming city (apart from when it comes to football, or anyone from across the Pennines). There's a bulging onion-bag's worth of things to do when you're here. On a cautionary note, should you happen to be from over tut Pennines‚ then we suggest trying to blend in with the locals.
Where the away fans drink
Seasoned football fans will well know (and probably have the scars as testimony to the fact) that there isn't really an 'away' pub close to a football ground. Home fans have more territorial pride than to allow one of their pubs to be taken over. If you're an away fan, or indeed if you can't afford Ken Bates's‚ steep entry prices (which still remain at Premier League level, despite the quality of football being at least two tiers below) we wouldn't recommend any of the pubs within a goal-kick's distance from the ground. So get yourself dressed up and hop across to the Elbow Room in the city centre, which is not too far away. No, it's not a place where you need to sharpen your elbows for a scrap, but a plush pool hall – ideal for getting the competitive fan's winning instincts to kick-in.
Another good option for the armchair fan is to go to Leeds's very own Sports Café. Modelled on American style sports bars, this place is ideal if you're the type of person to shout obscenities at any one of a million wide screen tellies in the forlorn hope that a millionaire player on the actual pitch will somehow a) hear you, and b) (perhaps even less realistically) give a shit what you think.
Where to drink if you want to get away from the footie crowds
If you want to avoid the crowds of supporters walking like ten-men through the streets of Leeds then here are a few handy hints. The bus service from Elland Road generally drops people at Leeds Station after the game; therefore you're best employing a Cristiano Ronaldo type dive away from the Scarborough Taps, which although usually an excellent pub, on every other Saturday is full of sad Leeds fans crying into their pints of bitter. If you're visiting Leeds for the first time, your best option is to head for the smart Calls area of the town, which is also not too far from the station. Bars like Oporto, Norman, Jakes Bar and Grill plus BRB offer upmarket alternatives to the saloon-style football fans's watering holes. Call Lane is tightly packed with bars; they are as close together as the defensive wall at a free-kick. Although you won‚t need to shield your privates.
Where to go clubbing if you win
So, you‚ve come to Leeds United, you‚ve seen Leeds United, and you‚ve conquered Leeds United. You're on a natural high, you can hold your South End up with pride and get on with the job of enjoying the buzz. Big Style. And what better way to celebrate the scalp your team has taken than to take part in some pretty hectic war-dancing at My House. Found behind the large BBC building, and close to the excellent Aagrah curry house, the former Stinky's Peep House retains its famed banging house choons, has three tiers and even an outside terrace. Please note that the outside terrace area should not be a recreation of the Elland Road terraces, where you have sung yourself hoarse all day long. Alternatively, if the mosh-pit orgy of joy which met your team's winning goal wasn't enough, try a little head-banging down at the Cockpit.
Where to go cheer yourself up if you lose
There is possibly no worse a feeling than facing the frustrations of a long journey home when your team has lost. That penalty appeal which was turned down; that open-goal miss by your star striker; it all comes back to haunt you. We're told that some people believe that the best way to relieve these frustrations is to wait outside the ground and throw stones and bottles at the team coaches as they leave the stadium, but there are far more productive ways of getting that defeat out of your system. Why not see defeat as an opportunity; your chance to forget about football for a while and simply enjoy your city break in the capital of Yorkshire? Get yourself down to the riverside area of Leeds where you'll find the chilled-out bars such as Aire Bar, Reclaim, Oracle and even the Adelphi more suited to your introspective mood. You'll soon find that the drinks on offer will drag you out of your shell (suit).
Where to relax the day after the match
No visit to Leeds is complete without going to the Royal Armouries. There you can see all of the catalogue of weaponry which used to be utilised in the post-match brawls of yesteryear and also the military hardware of choice for the future. You can even test out some of the stock-pile; test your shooting or archery skills. Or why not pop in to the West Yorkshire Playhouse? Leeds's innovative theatre offers a diverse choice of productions to suit every taste, and is run by Ian Brown, who everyone knows was pretty damn good in his former incarnation as front-man of The Stone Roses. But if you do one thing in Leeds you should hit the shops. People come from miles around to see the famed Victoria Quarter, the Corn Exchange and Harvey Nichols. The ideal revenge of the football widow or widower is to repay the boredom of those many football afternoons with a reciprocal dragging of your partner round the gluttony of Leeds's shops.
Best places for fans to stay
Bewleys hotel claims that it is the official hotel partner to Leeds United; whether th
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